Dazed, dejected, evicted- Somerset squatters' last stand

From the window of a moving car the scene looked like a street sale: furniture, appliances, clothing, bric-a-brac. Then the details of the image solidified- the clothing on display was laundry drying on the fence, the browsers were passers by on the pavement moved along by its anti-merchandise. The vendors inert on the chairs and boxes or asleep in their beds could have been another second-hand item on display.

Homes and shelters now replaced by the exposed open plan of Portswood Rd pavement, linking the bustling and totally rejuvenated Green Point to the glossy V & A Waterfront. BMW and Aston Martin showrooms providing some browsing relief 200m away.

Danny Khobo, one of the residents of the Somerset Hospital Complex, had been living there for 2 or 3 years. A neighbour of his for 10 years. Their dwelling had been a backpackers hostel until it had closed down and they continued to live in what appears to be City of Cape Town property until now. With the construction of the Green Point Stadium and the opening of Granger Bay Boulevard the old buildings in this neighbourhood have have finally come up for renovation. And with no lease or ownership in place Danny and the rest of the complex community live next to the busy road until the elements and municipal forces inevitably disperse them.



Danny Khobo

Death of the Flower Girl

She comes towards the table, smiling, just-brushed hair and party frock, a wicker basket of red red roses clutched closely.

By the Saints, its the roving restaurant Flower Girl and she is about to dampen the next few moments of your evening. You might be in the middle of declaring undying love or a bitter argument, a punchline of the worlds best joke, the crucial stage of an invention. But that all becomes secondary as your new reality fills with roses, roses with LEDS flashing, Roses with teddies hugging their stems, roses off the cover of a Mills and Boon book (The Pregnant and Surgically Enhanced Mistress of the Gentle Arms Dealer Billionaire From Steamy Sorrento).

She's telling you that its for charity, that the proceeds of your purchase will go towards a child or animal or hospital for dolphins. The rose will cost you R30. Her face is a thin skin mask and there is something horned, fanged, primeval and writhing beneath it. Your freshly baked bread roll that's just soaked up the grassy olive oil feels like sour asphalt in your throat. The bill, a tip, parking, petrol and now this.

Is there a happy ending? Maybe not tonight- you sent her off like a leper, bought a rose or took the in-between chicken road and gave her 5 bucks for the baby dolphins.

Restaurants take heed: you don't let insurance and medical aid companies rove your shop looking for business; defend your patrons from the girl bearing flowers.

Nap @ New Cape Quarter

The sandwich board outside the shop that sells furniture and light fittings says "Snack, Eats, drinks etc." Is it too much to hope that they are all for free? For me to enjoy whilst looking at a piece of prettily arranged gnarled root.

It was too much to expect but the place was away from the restaurant and coffee shop killing zone and felt a lot more relaxing.

Here I am then, on a Nap sort of rustic scaffolding plank bench with a prices tag of R895 on a shaded terrace. I've got a view of Signal Hill, a rich fruity muffin (R20) and a strong americano (R15) and I've just seen one of the centre's cleaners drop her cell phone into her bucket of floor washing water. It still worked when she fished it out. Bubbles came out of the speaker when she got an sms. I said that's what you'd expect of a Nokia, built tough. She said it was a Samsung.

Stay at the New Cape Quarter and experience your own twists-in-the-tale and intrigue around De Waterkant. Have a look at our accommodation at www.rentalscapetown.com

Pizza and Profanity at Big Bay- Col' Cacchio

Why is it called Big Bay? Where do you go for pizza if you live in a small village 40km from Cape Town? How do two of you have wine and then drive home without getting apprehended and incarcerated for the rest of the weekend? (And can you keep your cell phone on you whilst in jail?)

Most of of these riddles will remain unsolved for some time. But the meaning of "Col' Cacchio" in English ? That's easy. Put it into Google Translator set it from Italian to English and push the button. "With 'heck" is what the all knowing and all seeing robot comes up with, "up yours" is what the other sources say. Now you know.

Col' Cacchio is a pizza and pasta franchise. Lots of pizza choices arranged in ascending price and topping complexity. A handful of not the most inspiring pastas and salads for the pious make up the rest of the menu. Franchised restaurants make you think of walking into some themed place with totem poles or Irish artefacts that you'd only venture into at an airport or when disorientated in a broodingly sinister environment like N1 City. This franchise stays safely away from the red, white and green flags, quotes from Mama and Ferrari posters.

We wanted predictable, not too expensive, efficient with a view and that's what we got. 2 pizzas from the middle of the menu, a glass of Raka pink wine to share, a bottle of our own wine, R20 corkage, and a coffee to share cost R205, tip included. And views of Table Mountain and Robben Island for free, no extra charge for tables of 8 or more.