Right Under Your Nose- Woman and Child Adorn Wall With Big Faces on Wesley Street, Gardens

There's a lot of stuff in the city that just doesn't get noticed. Its the place in which you live, work and shop. Where you get stuck in traffic or manoeuvre in intricate geometries to avoid it. Don't look around, dawdle or hesitate: a turn might get missed or some piece of flesh dressed in a vehicle will get stressed out and edgy. Not the sort of actions or attitude that will bring the lesser known, the unknown and the extravagantly mundane out of the dusty attic and into the parlour to be scrutinised and appreciated.

For travelers, tourists and visitors our "Right Under Your Nose" series should point your snout at a few home made quirks, wonders and oddities. There's no entrance fee and no queues (yet). None of them are featured in Lonely Planet, Trip Advisor or Rough Guides. Table Mountain, Robben Island, the Winelands might be essential things to tick off on the sightseeing list but here's a sniff of what else is cooking on Cape Town's pavements and side streets. The unreleased tracks and B-sides, if you will, of our town, right here. Here's Right Up Your Nose #1

The Wesley Street Wall gets a facial: This part of town is near Gardens Shopping Centre and in the shadow of Wembley Square: apartments, fancy gym and delis and coffee shops for when you aren't wobbling on the PowerPlate or lifestyling in the penthouse. The neighbourhood is made up of equal parts of light industry like panel beaters, residential houses and small businesses. This part of Wesley Street is a bit of an open air art gallery. I've been driving past here for the last 3 years at least every 2 weeks (for the PowerPlate Turbo Yoga class) and have not noticed this wall until last week. I will be more observant. Would the artist please identify yourself?

At first it just looked like the usual single colour all-in-one-spray-blast wall defacement. But then you notice the smock wearing woman, baby on back doing the painting at the end of the wall. Nice twist. I like the Shoprite bag in her hand with more cans of spray paint among the groceries.

It looks like this graffiti mural goes through changes. If you look at the street view of Wesley Street and take a trip to Wesley St now (that's 1 Dec 2010) you'll see that the old painting was a big sidewalk aquarium view. Have a look at the verandah scene on the building on the other side of the road, complete with painted-on rug and pot plants.

Find it here on Google Maps: http://goo.gl/maps/Tmzs (nice and neat little link morsels now. You can almost memorise them)

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Hairy and macabre at Canal Walk- the spiders, not you

Spiders weighing as much as half a hamburger and hairy like a Persian kitten after an altercation with some Wahl hair clippers. Go to the Cape Union Mart "pod" store located in a large building outside the main Canal Walk shopping centre, Century City along the N1 just outside Cape Town. Upstairs next to the sleeping bags are the spider display cases- each one housing a large and relaxed arachnid. There's a Brazilian Red Kneed Tarantula and another with an almost luminescent shimmer in its fur. And about another 80 legs worth of viewing. You'll be giving them pet names like Tickles, Sting, Princess Daisy and The Praline before you know it.

Spare yourself 15 minutes away from the shopping treadmill and go and visit the spiders at the outdoor gear shop; its like a little educational rain forest adventure in retail land.

Olympia Cafe, Kalk Bay- has it closed or relocated? I was there yesterday and it seems to have gone.

--

Greg Wood

Holiday Rentals Cape Town

Luxurious Apartments, Villas and Beach Houses

+27834570487

skype: g.b.wood

http://rentalscapetown.com

The Throng outside the F*FA ticket shop and 14 days to go to the tournament of ball kicking

Accommodation still available at the Icon- Jazz & Blues. No queues @ www.rentalscapetown.com.

Still Life of Giant Vuvuzela and Unfinished Bridge- Cape Town Foreshore

--
Greg Wood
Holiday Rentals Cape Town
Flats, Houses and Beach Villas of Quality and Distinction
+27834570487
www.rentalscapetown.com
skype g.b.wood

Swine, Wine and baked goods er... Divine. Joostenberg Deli & Bistro, Stellenbosch

A pork pie that would launch 1000 ships. The burnished pastry all crimped, crusty, chewy and rich filled with delicate and crumbly ground pork spiked with cider vinegar and garlic. Sixteen Rand is the price for this encounter. Add a take away coffee to the bill and take them outside to sit on the grass under a eucalyptus or shady shrub. There's Ludwigs Roses across from here- blooms bearing the names of infamous South African people and places brighten up the whole picnic scene. Barry Ronges, Steve Hofmeyers and Shirley Veals pose and radiate in the neighbourhoods of Eastgate Evergolds and Polokwane Pinks.

Let's get back inside- the sit down restaurant offers good croque monsieurs and meat platters. The Sunday lunch menu looks suitably rich, hearty and imaginative. But to me the real action is out in the butchery and bakery area. Pork is Joostenberg's bag, with the journey from piglet to bacon taking place from their adjacent farm to the in-house butchery. The traditional bangers and pork boerewors are special; how have you managed to put up with those food technology products from Woolworths for so long? Then turn the sausage appreciation knob a little louder and try the toulousse sausage: garlicky, herby and gently overpowering. And if Pig 1 and Pig 2 weren't the greatest builders in the world their fine attributes are done justice in the Joostenberg display fridges: belly, neck and trotter, reams of bacon and ham, racks of chops and fillets.

But in the perpetual struggle between bread and meat, for me bread will always win. The centre bench has an array of crusty stuff that will please the dough-lover. Real baguettes and round sourdoughs with gently scorched surfaces. The scones are big and buttery and the spirals of the raisin danishes would make Denmark proud. Eat both whilst driving: it makes for a good journey and a car full of crumbs and pastry flakes.

And there's Joostenberg own wine to swill it all down with. The Little J Rose for R40 is our favourite; more seriously named and dauntingly priced reds and whites will probably do a great job accompanying a fine dinner, film, bath or tax return. They have a full tasting facility to let you sip your way through any uncertainties.

All the other essentials and ingredients to stock up the pantry shelves for a while are here: dairy, fresh produce, pasta, flour, jams, cheeses, home made icecream and desserts, fresh and locally grown fruit juices. Good local produce, imaginative and quality goods often at prices not much more than those at a supermarket. In fact if you live in the vicinity of Joostenberg ditch the supermarket altogether except for the most mundane requirements like tooth paste and washing powder. A honey producer, plant nursery and garden cente as well as an importer of Indonesian furniture and un-run-of-the-mill home decor accessories are to be found within the Joostenberg complex.

If you are in Cape Town its worth making a journey up the N1 towards Stellenbosch and taking the R304 Stellenbosch turnoff. Roughly a 45km trip and a good starting point for a wine tour of this part of Stellenbosch with names like Villiera, Mulderbosch, Simonsig, Beyerskloof and Monterosso. Not quite the usual tourist route but high standards and lots of differentiation on this shortish segment ending in Stellenbosch town.

See it at www.joostenberg.co.za

Need a vacation apartment or self-cater holiday flat from which to explore finds like this in the Western Cape? Try our accommodation at www.rentalscapetown.com

#SPEAKZA: IN PROTEST AGAINST THE ANC YOUTH LEAGUE

Last week, shocking revelations concerning the activities of the ANC Youth League spokesperson Nyiko Floyd Shivambu came to the fore. According to a letter published in various news outlets, a complaint was laid by 19 political journalists with the Secretary General of the ANC, against Shivambu. This complaint letter detailed attempts by Shivambu to leak a dossier to certain journalists, purporting to expose the money laundering practices of Dumisani Lubisi, a journalist at the City Press. The letter also detailed the intimidation that followed when these journalists refused to publish these revelations.

We condemn in the strongest possible terms the reprisals against journalists by Shivambu. His actions constitute a blatant attack on media freedom and a grave infringement on Constitutional rights. It is a disturbing step towards dictatorial rule in South Africa. We call on the ANC and the ANC Youth League to distance themselves from the actions of Shivambu. The media have, time and again, been a vital democratic
safeguard by exposing the actions of individuals who have abused their positions of power for personal and political gain.

The press have played a vital role in the liberation struggle, operating under difficult and often dangerous conditions to document some of the most crucial moments in the struggle against apartheid. It is therefore distressing to note that certain people within the ruling party are willing to maliciously target journalists by invading their privacy and threatening their colleagues in a bid to silence them in their legitimate work.

We also note the breathtaking hubris displayed by Shivambu and the ANC Youth League President Julius Malema in their response to the letter of complaint. Shivambu and Malema clearly have no respect for the media and the rights afforded to the media by the Constitution of South Africa. Such a response serves only to reinforce the position that the motive for leaking the so-called dossier was not a legitimate concern, but a insolent effort to intimidate and bully a journalist who had exposed embarrassing information about the Youth League President.

We urge the ANC as a whole to reaffirm its commitment to media freedom and other Constitutional rights we enjoy as a country.

Bloggers who are involved in the protest:

http://thoughtleader.co.za/siphohlongwane
http://rwrant.co.za
http://vocfm.co.za/blogs/munadia/
http://vocfm.co.za/blogs/shafiqmorton/
http://blogs.news24.com/needpoint
http://capetowngirl.co.za
http://thoughtleader.co.za/sentletsediakanyo
http://thoughtleader.co.za/davidjsmith
http://letterdash.com/one-eye-only
http://boyuninterrupted.blogspot.com
http://amandasevasti.com
http://blog.empyrean.co.za/
http://letterdash.com/brencro
http://6000.co.za
http://chrisroper.co.za
http://pieftw.com
http://hamishpillay.wordpress.com
http://memoirs4kimya.blogspot.com
http://thoughtleader.co.za/azadessa
http://watkykjy.co.za
http://fredhatman.co.za
http://thelifeanddeathchronicles.blogspot.com/
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/common-dialogue/
http://www.clivesimpkins.blogs.com/
http://mashadutoit.wordpress.com
http://nicharalambous.com
http://sarocks.co.za
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/stompies/
http://helenmoffett.book.co.za/blog/
http://01universe.blogspot.com
http://groundwork.worpress.com
http://iwrotethisforyou.me
http://fionasnyckers.book.co.za
http://attentiontodetail.wordpress.com
http://blogs.women24.com/editor
http://www.missmillib.blogspot.com
http://snowgoose.co.za
http://dreamfoundry.co.za
http://www.vanoodle.blogspot.com
http://www.exmi.co.za
http://cat-dubai.blogspot.com
http://alistairfairweather.com
http://www.zanedickens.com
http://www.nickhuntdavis.com
http://guysa.blogspot.com
http://book.co.za
http://baldy.co.za
http://skinnylaminx.com
http://blogs.african-writing.com/zukiswa
http://www.mielie.wordpress.com
http://blogs.timeslive.co.za/gatherer/
http://thoughtleader.co.za/sarahbritten
http://stii.co.za
http://blogs.news24.com/FSB_AP
http://twistedkoeksuster.blogspot.com
http://whensmokegetsinyoureyes.blogspot.com/
http://trinklebean.wordpress.com
http://commentry.wordpress.com/
http://matthewbuckland.com
http://blogs.news24.com/colour-me-fran
http://gormendizer.co.za

Classy, rustic Philadelphia Village - Building land with architect designed plans for sale. R415000

The Village of Philadelphia- quiet, safe and tastefully rustic. With only about 30 properties in the oudorp, your chances of getting a house here are slim and the prices can be steep.

If you are after real country life but need to be within close proximity to Cape Town (40km), Durbanville (22km), Melkbos (22km) and Table View (30km) then Philadelphia is the perfect mix of unspoilt farm hamlet and easy access to work and urban convenience.

We have 1000 square metres of land in the old part of town and live in the landmark "Klipdakhuis". 400sqm of the original plot plus architect designed house plans are now being released. Currently the land is planted out with a micro olive grove. The new house has been designed with 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, open plan living area and a massive outdoor entertainment zone. Total area of the house is approximately 125sqm. Ownership would be via a close corporation structure. Note that the 3D computer design shows the new house positioned in front of the existing double storey house.

Facts about Philadelphia-

Just off N7 and on Swartland border

Founded in mid- to late 1800's as church and farming town

Restaurants: Pepper Tree: doubles up as art and craft venue (Pottery, gallery, hand made knife workshop, leatherware); De Malle Meul- functions, shows, Sunday buffet, home to lots of Pieter van der Westhuizen art

Wine- great vineyards and 2 good estates: Capaia and Havana Hills

Large police station in village, 24hr Plaaswag available- added safety

Plenty of space for walking and mountain bike riding

Pony and horse riding

Excellent broadband internet (better than Telkom ADSL and iBurst) available by local service provider

Telkom, Vodacom and MTN coverage

2 General dealers, and a gem and crystal and gift shop

2km from the Engen Swartland 1 Stop for petrol, 24hr shop and Wimpy and ATM

Good primary school in the heart of the village

Look at the Philadelphia Village Bugle- a blog about the village- philadelphia-village.blogspot.com

How does the purchase and ownership structure work?

Usually a freestanding property is owned outright- the land and the buildings on it are yours and this is noted on a title deed stored at the Deeds Office. A modification of this concept is sectional title ownership- if you purchase a flat with a garage in a block of flats then the portions you own are clearly described on the sectional title plan. There are areas you share with other owners and you all contribute to the upkeep and maintenance of the parts of the scheme not owned specifically by owners/residents of the block: from public gardens and driveways to lifts and the roofing protecting the entire block.

The usual route taken when wanting to sell off a piece of your land is to obtain permission for subdivison. An application is submitted to the municipality, they circulate it through their departments and notify the community and neighbours for their comment. This is can be a lengthy process. Once approval is obtained and the relevant conditions fulfilled then the new plot gets its own erf number and diagram and becomes an independent piece of property that the owner can sell.

It is permissible in most suburbs, including Philadelphia, to construct a "second dwelling" on a plot- building plans have to be submitted and once approved construction may begin. The process is fairly straightforward. Usually the second dwelling is used by the owner of the primary dwelling on the same plot as a granny/teen flat or rented out to generate extra income for the owner. One way of selling off a portion of a property without going through the lengthy subdivision process with its uncertain outcome is to form a close corporation. This entity owns the entire property and members/shareholders own shares within the CC structure.

The most basic scenario would be a piece of vacant land of 1000sqm in a CC structure with 2 members each holding a 50% share corresponding to 500sqm each of land. This simple set up can be extended to our situation where there is one existing building and a planned second building. The crucial point is that all members enjoy real ownership of their own properties through the vehicle of a company structure governed by a founding constitution that caters for all (or most imaginable) eventualities in a joint residential situation.

A logical and legal company constitution will allow maximum freedom and independence for the owner/members and set out up-front guidelines for shared factors. An example would be municipal rates/sewerage/refuse removal: the council would still see one erf and issue one bill which would be split as per the CC guidelines. Electricity and water could be individually metered .

The good and the bad of property in a CC structure?

Cons:

1) Lack of access to conventional loan/financing: unlikely that a bank will give you a bond

2) Insurance/safety measures required to protect property owners'/members' interests

Pros:

1) No waiting period- once plans are approved you can build

2) Subdivision is more expensive (with costs passed on to the buyer); very long-winded and with an uncertain outcome

3) Shared infrastructure- lower building costs, less monthly costs.

4) Your shares (and therefore your property) can be sold

5) Allows ownership of scarce rural, serviced property that would otherwise be inaccessible to the market

6) Possible tax benefits?

7) Lower land/house cost- prices for freestanding erven in Philadelphia are well over R500000. Houses start at R1.25million. It is feasible to purchase and buy for less than R1million.

Ultimately the plan would be to subdivide the property but this would be a mid- to long-term goal dictated by market values and subdivision costs. The CC structure could hold indefinitely until subdivision or even converting to sectional title was realised.

Edible hats and accordian licks- La Masseria, Durbanville

The courtyard gently reverberates with the metallic wheeze and drone of the accordian - the player looks like he is gently wrestling with an old fashioned cash register thats trying to eat his hands. The restaurant owner does the vocals to this languid battle at a hen party table: all amor from here to eternity.

Where else, I ask you, as I pour half a cup of grassy fresh olive oil over the stretchy, crusty, celestial, thickly sliced bread; where else but at La Masseria, Evertsdal, between Tyger Valley and Durbanville Town? Set in an old mill or wine cellar adorned with early industrial age implements like mangles and grape destalkers and an old Multichoice decoder. As I pondered all of this and chewed on oil soaked bread washed down with pink De Grendal wine the duo came over to our table and filled the night with an earthy version of The The's "This is the Day". We let the music wash over us and just sort of grooved out for a couple of minutes.

The bit about the The The song at our table is fantasy- we like our live music to stay on stage or intrude on other diners. We use special repelling tactics like hiding behind the menu, climbing under the table or looking deranged to discourage table serenades. And off they drifted.

I had calf's liver with onions because it was cheaper than all the veal options whilst holding promise of more flesh mass. If you want something to accompany your dish is costs extra- I had the spaghetti in olive oil and garlic. The side dishes aren't expensive and are generous: R13 for the spaghetti and R8 for an extra serving of bread which would work well with some of the dishes. Rose had a custom built dish of ravioli with a creamy black mushroom sauce. They specialise in hand made pastas in various shapes: hats, ears, quills and the stuffed ones. The ravioli was a very good: super fine filling of what must have been pork and the mushroom sauce was rich and tasty. We stayed with the Durbanville wines because its sort of our neighbourhood: a glass of De Grendel pink was R20 and R29 each for the Altydgedacht merlot and Diemerdal pinotage: good prices- you would be paying nearly double that in Cape Town.

It is a long drive if you are not based in the northern suburbs of Cape Town for the night. Make a weekend of it and book a couple of nights in the farm village of Philadelphia about 24km away. Nice safe drive along farmy backroads. Try Die Blikhuisie or Die Malle Meul- both options are in the old village and very well priced. And the many charms of Philadelphia Village are another story altogether.

greg@rentalscapetown.com

Dazed, dejected, evicted- Somerset squatters' last stand

From the window of a moving car the scene looked like a street sale: furniture, appliances, clothing, bric-a-brac. Then the details of the image solidified- the clothing on display was laundry drying on the fence, the browsers were passers by on the pavement moved along by its anti-merchandise. The vendors inert on the chairs and boxes or asleep in their beds could have been another second-hand item on display.

Homes and shelters now replaced by the exposed open plan of Portswood Rd pavement, linking the bustling and totally rejuvenated Green Point to the glossy V & A Waterfront. BMW and Aston Martin showrooms providing some browsing relief 200m away.

Danny Khobo, one of the residents of the Somerset Hospital Complex, had been living there for 2 or 3 years. A neighbour of his for 10 years. Their dwelling had been a backpackers hostel until it had closed down and they continued to live in what appears to be City of Cape Town property until now. With the construction of the Green Point Stadium and the opening of Granger Bay Boulevard the old buildings in this neighbourhood have have finally come up for renovation. And with no lease or ownership in place Danny and the rest of the complex community live next to the busy road until the elements and municipal forces inevitably disperse them.



Danny Khobo

Death of the Flower Girl

She comes towards the table, smiling, just-brushed hair and party frock, a wicker basket of red red roses clutched closely.

By the Saints, its the roving restaurant Flower Girl and she is about to dampen the next few moments of your evening. You might be in the middle of declaring undying love or a bitter argument, a punchline of the worlds best joke, the crucial stage of an invention. But that all becomes secondary as your new reality fills with roses, roses with LEDS flashing, Roses with teddies hugging their stems, roses off the cover of a Mills and Boon book (The Pregnant and Surgically Enhanced Mistress of the Gentle Arms Dealer Billionaire From Steamy Sorrento).

She's telling you that its for charity, that the proceeds of your purchase will go towards a child or animal or hospital for dolphins. The rose will cost you R30. Her face is a thin skin mask and there is something horned, fanged, primeval and writhing beneath it. Your freshly baked bread roll that's just soaked up the grassy olive oil feels like sour asphalt in your throat. The bill, a tip, parking, petrol and now this.

Is there a happy ending? Maybe not tonight- you sent her off like a leper, bought a rose or took the in-between chicken road and gave her 5 bucks for the baby dolphins.

Restaurants take heed: you don't let insurance and medical aid companies rove your shop looking for business; defend your patrons from the girl bearing flowers.

Nap @ New Cape Quarter

The sandwich board outside the shop that sells furniture and light fittings says "Snack, Eats, drinks etc." Is it too much to hope that they are all for free? For me to enjoy whilst looking at a piece of prettily arranged gnarled root.

It was too much to expect but the place was away from the restaurant and coffee shop killing zone and felt a lot more relaxing.

Here I am then, on a Nap sort of rustic scaffolding plank bench with a prices tag of R895 on a shaded terrace. I've got a view of Signal Hill, a rich fruity muffin (R20) and a strong americano (R15) and I've just seen one of the centre's cleaners drop her cell phone into her bucket of floor washing water. It still worked when she fished it out. Bubbles came out of the speaker when she got an sms. I said that's what you'd expect of a Nokia, built tough. She said it was a Samsung.

Stay at the New Cape Quarter and experience your own twists-in-the-tale and intrigue around De Waterkant. Have a look at our accommodation at www.rentalscapetown.com

Pizza and Profanity at Big Bay- Col' Cacchio

Why is it called Big Bay? Where do you go for pizza if you live in a small village 40km from Cape Town? How do two of you have wine and then drive home without getting apprehended and incarcerated for the rest of the weekend? (And can you keep your cell phone on you whilst in jail?)

Most of of these riddles will remain unsolved for some time. But the meaning of "Col' Cacchio" in English ? That's easy. Put it into Google Translator set it from Italian to English and push the button. "With 'heck" is what the all knowing and all seeing robot comes up with, "up yours" is what the other sources say. Now you know.

Col' Cacchio is a pizza and pasta franchise. Lots of pizza choices arranged in ascending price and topping complexity. A handful of not the most inspiring pastas and salads for the pious make up the rest of the menu. Franchised restaurants make you think of walking into some themed place with totem poles or Irish artefacts that you'd only venture into at an airport or when disorientated in a broodingly sinister environment like N1 City. This franchise stays safely away from the red, white and green flags, quotes from Mama and Ferrari posters.

We wanted predictable, not too expensive, efficient with a view and that's what we got. 2 pizzas from the middle of the menu, a glass of Raka pink wine to share, a bottle of our own wine, R20 corkage, and a coffee to share cost R205, tip included. And views of Table Mountain and Robben Island for free, no extra charge for tables of 8 or more.

36 hours in Camps Bay: The Neptune, Maranellos, The Hussar and some exercise.

The hibiscus bush waves and makes leafy sounds in the odd energetic gust outside on the verandah of our Ground Floor Superior garden unit. I'm glad it is a hibiscus bush, if it was a bush of indeterminate type I would not have been able to use it as a scenic mood-setter for this Camps Bay chapter. I'm looking at the bush again wondering how to brew it into a healthful cup of hibiscus tea.

These are the sort of thoughts you have when the surroundings and comfort around you have smoothed off the jagged edges that stress has etched onto your wave form.

We’ve got 2 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms. 1 of the bathrooms is en-suite and the other conveniently placed so as to be within easy reach of the living area and bedroom 2. The fittings and decor are a consistent theme of uncluttered rectilinear polished wood with upholstered creamy bits to sit on, lie on or affixed to the wall to muse at. I like the expansive and blocky central sofa thing in the lounge: part chaise-longue, part bed and part railway platform it compels you to recline and reach for the flat screen’s remote controller or your Nancy Drew Omnibus. There are sliding doors from the main bedroom and lounge to the verandah and garden from where you can just about see the sea and where there is a good-sized crystal clear swimming pool. 2 pools actually: if you go round the corner of the building there is another pool bordered with wooden decking. What else? The second bedroom has two single beds, bathroom en-suite to the main bedroom has a shower and the second bathroom has a bath with a shower and glass enclosure built around it. The dining room has a glass table that seats 6 and the kitchen has pretty much everything you need. The units are serviced every day so no need for a dishwasher. The living area is air-conditioned, there is a landline telephone where the rates are more favourable for phoning local numbers. There is also a wifi antenna in the garden that beams on the complex giving you fast internet access. If your service provider is MWeb or IS or a handful of others you can jump on the network for free by just logging on. If not then a credit card will buy your bytes.

 

 

The Neptune consists of 1 and 2 bedroom flats in one complex. With  the large,landscaped grounds, sloping terrain and open walkways and galleries giving access,  each apartment has an almost freestanding feel.

On our first night in Camps Bay we went to Maranellos. It used to be called Luigi's Trattoria and the menu seems to have expanded under the new Ferrari inspired name. The big and fragrant frangipani tree is still in the private courtyard but it was windy enough to blow the tagliatelle of your fork so we sat inside. Chorizo type sausage folded pizza was my choice and Rose had the fish. I like to think that a calzone comes with more filling than its 2 dimensional counterpart.

Here we are up on Hely Hutchinson Rd having a run. With gentle beaches and many furlongs of restaurant frontage to lounge at it is easy to be contrary and try out the roads, grass verges and pavements of the high altitude reaches of Camps Bay. The road slopes cruelly upwards, the wind hootles and shrieks and we stride and grimace like something out of Chariots of Fire. O Clouds unfold...

It was then neccessary to replenish spent kilojoules on Saturday night. The Hussar Grill in Green Point once allowed us to use their bathrooms as non-patrons. We vowed to repay the kindness by eating there. This was their Camps Bay branch that we went to.  The Hussar specialises in being a steak place. They will tell you to the day how old their meat is: 28 days is the play-it-safe optimum age for a well stored steak. Up to 31 days is doable but the meat needs the final scrutiny by the Hussar of steaks before being flung on the grill. We wents for the massive 840g of hog ribs. With chips. To share. Tender, delicious and delicate flesh. The meat for firemen, explorers and hog farmers with a sensitive leaning. And bring your own wine if you want 'cos there's no corkage.

Make Camps Bay your town for a weekend or a month by contacting us at Holiday Rentals Cape Town.

We visit Stellenbosch and find it pleasing

Sitting on the stoep of Rose Cottage at Glenconner in the Jonkershoek Valley of Stellenbosch. All is very, very pretty. The vines are all a-trellised. The properties are grand and the Eerste River looks just swell. The horses have done their contractually specified 1/4 mile gallop, spring and back roll in the paddock before going back to just looking like pretty, underemployed and inedible livestock. The river's murkiness and odd supermarket bag gambolling over the big round pebbles add a lively worldliness to flowing waters only minutes from their source up in the mountains. Sort of like a 10 year old girl sporting nail varnish on her toenails. But then any lacquered toenail is just plain ugly, I have just taken off Noontide Bruleé from mine forever and ever.

As Talk Talk said in the 1980's: The Party's Over and in less than 24 hours we will be back home and back to work. Not that that is a bad thing. Anyway what's more work anyway: wading from a carpark into the supermarket to stock up on milk and Handy Andy and black peppercorns or speaking to nice people on the phone and via email?

And there's the home coming walk around the garden to check out the tomato and onion crop and see if the Sausage Tree still hasn't succumbed to the sour earth syndrome that lurks in the southern corner of our garden.

What's been good? What's been un-good? What has made these 5 or 6 days at Glenconner's Rose Cottage in Jonkershoek, Stellenbosch blow away all the other holiday experiences of the last 41 years of my life. Even better than when my mother organised a week for us at the Beacon Island Hotel in Plettenberg Bay in about 1981; a package put together by Fair Lady magazine. Me and my sister still can't get over the blue sarong and t-shirt with whale motif we each found in our ultra luxurious hotel room.

The Holiday Rentals Cape Town list of good stuff here in Stellenbosch:

1) De Oewer restaurant on the banks of the Eerste River. I thought Eerste River was an industrial area next to N1 City until a few days ago. This restaurant is coupled with another Die Volkskombuis and had good food and a perfect evening outdoor setting with skilled service and burning braziers everywhere. Burn yours sometime.

2) DSTV @ Rose Cottage - Blackadder and MNET films and watching even better SABC and eTV films via a decoder. There is so much TV out there. A whole weekend of 80's music on VH1. There is no need for the cruel outside world. Give me more shelter behind bad hair and vintage video concepts.

3) Die Wijnhuis- On Rose's birthday. Thin and tender veal and good ole sole with champagne and shrimp sauce.

4) The Jonkerhoek Tea Room (please forgive me if I have the name wrong, it might be the Jonkershoek Coffee House or Place of Holy Carrot Cake of Jonkershoek). At the entrance to the place of forestry and good mountain bike tracks. Many places that are perfectly located in scenic areas with high volumes of human traffic passing by their doors seem to make it their duty to ensure that there is at least some tarnish to your experience by creating a dull menu of of instant pie and Orley Whip. This place does a thick and rich carrot cake and a good burger.

5) Ginos: R80, R90, R115, R154. These are the prices that we are becoming immune to for a main course. Swill it all down with at least a 100 bucks worth of wine and say hello to a credit card statement that will bring on bout of jaundiced wallet. Ginos are happy to take no more than R75 for their main courses. My oval pizza with chicken livers and mozzarella was R55 and was made from a dough that had a beautiful bend and bite to it. They are on Dorp St in an old Cape Dutch building, with oak trees in the garden. Corkage is R10 which adds a nice unexpected twinge to the experience, like finding a little model
car in your bowl when you've just poured your breakfast muesli into it.

6) Cupcake: Little shoes, yellow rubber ducks, woollen baby clothes and a dauntingly good pan-grilled emmenthaler and ham sandwich with wholegrain mustard. I'll have another coffee with that apricot mini-cardigan...

7) The Spar Liquor Store: Le Pommier Cabernet Sauvignon for about R40 @ 15% alchohol per bottle. Heavy and healthy.
8) Oak trees- the theft thereof. Riding around on a stealth bicycle with a slim trowel digging up acorn saplings to transplant in Philadelphia. Once you’ve deviated onto the path of guerilla botany there is no turning back.

Rentals Cape Town makes marmalade of Jonkershoek bike trail.

After 2 single tracks: the Lower Patula and the Medulla Oblongata we pause to do some press ups and star jumps.

Now the stop for sandwiches and lemonade. Home brew would be more suited to the strong and burly attitude that about 3km of hard-core, awesome, gnarly, pant-shattering, hymn singing and utterly subversive dirt riding has cultivated in our normally prim selves.

Bring out the navigation chart.

Leaving Boschkloof- The Pie of Die Tol

The little valley hideaway of oranges is now about 15km behind us now. After the arduous packing and loading of baggage, bikes and freshly picked oranges and newly acquired bags of braai wood we needed breakfast.

Here we are at Die Tol Plaasstal. Just finished a plate of pepper steak pie, toasted ham and cheese sandwich and chips dusted with Aromat. It was delicious. Big food eaten to the roar and grind of trucks going up and down Piekenierskloof Pass on the N7 just 20m from our table. There goes a Fanie Visser vehicle. Now to go into the store to load up on marmalade and rusks and more pie.

Rosemary appropriates Gonnafontein apricots...

...for our survival. My apricot had lots of what look like insect eggs in it. I hope my digestive juices can dissolve them.

We make it up the Ceres Pass to critical turning point at Gonnafontein. We are gaunt and in need of some beer. I think it is mostly rough but downhill from here.

Tour de Citrusdal, 1st stop

After the first downhill out of Boschkloof we take water and solace at the foot of the Berg St fluorescent cross.